I might tell this story every year. And whatever, I can do what I want, it’s my birthday. So I’ll tell it again. When I was young, I never thought I’d make it past 21. Not in a morbid way, I just couldn’t imagine what a 21 year old, let alone 27 year old Sarah Kim would look like, be like, act like, do for work, etc etcetc. So needless to say, it’s pretty wild to me that I’ve made it to 27 years.
This past year has been particularly difficult and particularly interesting for me. With getting laid off of what I thought was my dream job, to going through some personal family stuff, to officially falling in love with Brooklyn to the point of making a blog about people’s love affairs with the city, to my sister moving to the east coast, to memorizing every coffee shop’s wifi password, to riding my bike more than I ever thought I would, to babysitting the children of Park Slope, to unexpectedly crushing on someone who came out of left field, to currently, feeling, well, more aware of my shortcomings and the things I need to work on, and yet more confident in who I am and who I’ve become by God’s grace.
I’m on the verge of tears as I write this because I feel so undeserving of the friends who have been with me this past year. Faithful friends are such gift from God. I am blessed to call my sister my very best friend and don’t know if I could’ve made it this far without her. Our friendship and sisterhood surpass what words can express and the conversations we have in our silent moments in just being together say more than I’ve ever shared with anyone in thousands and thousands of words.
I think in the past year, I’ve become more aware that I’m not just a babysitter, but someone who wants to become a wife and a mom one day, sooner rather than later. I have this affection for kids and their innocence and the way they challenge but believe the things you tell them. My wanting to give parents their kids back has turned into thoughts of, man, I’d like to have one of my own someday.
I’ve come to the realization too, although I’ve known this for a while, that I don’t ever want to be rich. I just want to make enough to always be able to buy my friends good meals. And good beer. And plane tickets.
I miss traveling and getting on planes and feeling small. As big as New York is, there’s this familiarity that I love and hate so much, it pushes me to want to see the world. Another thing, I know I want to be in Brooklyn for a while. For the people, for my church, for all that it has to offer. I am so thankful that God’s put me here. I love Brooklyn so much.
And though there aren’t many certainties in life, there are a few things I’m sure of: 1. the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t know anything about anything and 2. time speeds up the older you get. It’s wild. It’s like some weird backwards thing that happens but I guess it comes with the territory? I don’t know.
Lastly, God’s faithfulness and His goodness are the only constants in my life, well that and my perpetual mess ups, which then remind me of His huge grace. And as years continue to come and I’m still dumbfounded by the way time races by and how I’ve somehow made it past 21, God has been and will be the One that’s been there the entire time and I just pray that I would recognize and appreciate that more in year 28, 29, 45, 78, 103 :)