It’s a strange thing. I’m not mad, I’m just sad. When it comes down to it, ANTENNA was too much money out, not enough money in. And when you can’t bring money in, you can’t make a magazine. Like our Creative Director says, it’s just not that deep.
The part that hurts the most: the Spring 2012 issue we worked so hard on is not going to print. This issue looks so good. And it’s done. We closed it this week. But the icing on the cake: my gracious Editor in Chief let me write the Editor’s Letter. That’s like the letter Anna Wintour writes in every issue of Vogue. It’s the letter Jim Nelson writes in every GQ. And I wrote ours for this issue. And it’s not going to print.
And again, it’s not that deep, why would they print an issue if they’re folding a magazine? They wouldn’t. Printing costs hella money. I get it. But. It just, just sucks.
And as I sit here, with my hair pulled back in a hot pink bow, drinking a Blue Moon, looking at the orange peel of the orange I destroyed, wishing I would’ve just saved it for my Blue Moon, eating almonds, listening to my “Chillchillchill” (a little Here We Go Magic, a little Bon Iver, a little Jose Gonzalez, a little Kings of Convenience. And you thought I only listened to hip hop…) Spotify playlist, I’m left in deep gratitude for the experience that it all was.
It’s a crazy thing to have been in six US cities in less than two weeks, eating from every possible food truck imaginable and call that your job. Thank you Hyundai. Thank you God.
It’s a crazy thing to have visited Puerto Rico to visit the Bacardi distillery on the eve of their 150th year anniversary and call that your job. Thank you Bacardi. Thank You God.
It’s a insane thing to have been able to be sitting up in a hotel room, overlooking Tokyo, interviewing Nigel Sylvester and discussing The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and The Blueprint III and call that your job. Thank you Gatorade. Thank you God.
It’s an insane thing to have gotten to go to London, stay in the ballerest of hotels and not only write the story about it, but shoot it, like a photographer, for print and call that your job. Thank you G-Shock, Design Hotels and Taj Reid of WeJetSet. Thank you God.
It’s a wild thing to be in the warmest Costa Rican waters with the world’s best surfers, have them cheer you on when you get up and have that be your first surfing experience and call that your job. Thank you etnies and Sole Technology. Thank you God.
It’s a wild thing to be in an AirStream in Yuma, Arizona while on a West Coast road trip story and see the image of the antenna that your Creative Director shot, which then inspired the name of the magazine that allowed for all of the above experiences. Thank you again and again God.
And don’t get me wrong, those things were all fantastic, surreal, soooooo cool, but it’s really the team I worked with that made ANTENNA exceptionally amazing. It is not the trips I will miss, it is Kaity and I walking into the office wearing the exact same thing and everyone staring at us like we’re idiots, even though we think we’re hella cute cause we accidentally matched that I’m going to miss. It’s the long, deep, life conversations with Evan, Shanna’s infectious laugh and Tony’s commentaries on everything (e.g. I can’t eat at Calexico. They’re like the Supreme of food trucks) that I’m going to miss. It’s Keri’s knife carrying ways, perfect fashion everything and Jenni’s crazy out of this world-ness, cat obsession, care and concern and Andrew’s professionalism and editorial terms (e.g. FOH, back read, punchy) that I’m going to miss. Being around. Every. Day.
At the end of the day, I have no one but God to thank. (I’m soo rapper acceptance speech right now right?) Man, the places I was able to see, the opportunities to write and shoot, the coworkers I was fortunate enough to work with, I know they are all gifts from God and I did nothing to deserve any of them. I couldn’t have planned it nearly as amazingly as He did. And while I don’t know what lies ahead, I know God does. And like I said before, it is in that God I trust and in His plan I rest.
Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
<3 ANTENNA’s Assocaite Editor, Sarah Kim
P.S. I’m now a free agent. Ready to sign with the right team. Get at me.