Struggle Street.
• Green Globe Girl
• Blue Poncho Girl
• Looking to Find a Job Girl
• By Way of Brooklyn
• Don't Be Shy
Notebook Number Four
Right Now’s Playlist
Thank God I Found You Remix - Mariah Carey ft. Joe and Nas
Heartbreak Remix - Mariah Carey ft. Jay-Z
Breakdown Remix - Mariah Carey ft. Bone Thugs
Fantasy Remix - Mariah Carey ft. O.D.B.
Just in case you forgot how good these were. You welcome.
On Pruning.
I’ve always been an infamous plant neglector, murder even. The worst part? I’d keep buying them, only to fail again.
But then my friend Mel assured me that, given the right plant, I could learn to take care of plants.
It might have been three years ago now, we had brunch at Mile End and walked down to GRDN after to plant shop. I was scared. I had messed up before. But Mel, with full and blind faith, recommended an air plant and a jade.
Since then, not only have they survived but they’ve grown. That’s the fun part. But pruning the browned wilted leaves after some neglect is not. But when I’m house sitting and away or just too tired, it happens. It’s okay, it’s understandable, but it’s sucky. So sucks.
On Saturday I was watering my plants, and my air plant was looking wild. It was, well, airy, too airy, dry, almost crusty and there was no way dunking it in a bath for hours was going to help it.
So I had to pull leaves off. Then I had to pull more off. There were so many that were just so sad, and dead, and unsalvageable. Good for nothing, too far gone leaves.
I realize this isn’t a new analogy about life. I know I’m not breaking any ground here. It just became so apparent why the analogy is as perfect as it is as I was actually pruning.
I’m not gonna throw my plants away because they start to look sad, I’m gonna prune them. One step forward, two steps back. Sometimes, you gotta take the hit. You’re not just gonna keep lying there. You have to get back up, even if you’re gonna fail miserably again. It’s okay. That’s life.
Given the right plant.
Good for nothing, too far gone leaves.
One step forward, two steps back.
You gotta take the hit.
It’s okay. That’s life.
“‘You have wonderful memories,’ people said later, as if memories were solace. Memories are not. Memories are by definition of times past, things gone. Memories are the Westlake uniforms in the closet, the faded and cracked photographs, the invitations to the weddings of the people who are no longer married, the mass cards from the funerals of the people whose faces you no longer remember. Memories are what you no longer want to remember.”
— Joan Didion, Blue Nights
“Disco Tech”, Wylie Hays photographed by David Schulze in Surface
Prospect Park around 7 pm
When I first got there, there was only one fisherman. I sat down at the edge of a bench. I had my headphones in but wasn’t playing anything, just forgot to take them out.
Then two people sat down on the far bench, closest to the water. They were in bar tending school it seemed and were testing each other with flash cards. Drink flash cards. Talking about rocks glasses.
Then an older couple came. I was already reading Blue Nights at this point. When I looked up all of the benches were occupied. There was a vacant spot next to me and next to a lady and then there was a rock. The couple sat separately. She had high top chucks on and sat on the rock, not on the vacant spot next to the lady. And the man who had a grey pony tail sat next to me. I was in between them.
I guess they must’ve thought I was rude. But I was there first. I could’ve moved but I instead kept my headphones in with no music and continued to read my book.
“He’s not gonna catch anything.”
“We should go to the Bronx Zoo.”
“We missed the butterflies already but we should go before it gets too hot.”
“What movies you got at your house.”
“I don’t know. I got some.”
“I thought you said you had good ones.”
“I got plenty. What’s it to you, you’re gonna fall asleep anyhow.”
“Don’t sit on that rock, you’re gonna get your pants dirty.”
“It wasn’t like this last summer.”
Then the person on the other side of the man left and she got up from the rock and sat next to him. Then they started talking to the bar tending kids. Then the fisherman asked if they were in bar tending school.
Then I got up and left.
I had my headphones in the whole time.
That one time we went to Sizzler.
We are so blessed.
Happy Father’s Day Papa Kim.
